Team Aniston or Team Jolie?
I'm just so confused right now. On the one hand, I've always been fascinated with sexy Angie Jolie. She's an Oscar-winning actress. She's a UN ambassador. She adopts orphaned children, for the love of God. She donates money to worthwhile causes, sure, but—more importantly—she also donates her time. But she's also broken up several relationships, and has that whole weird knives-and-tattoos-and-blood-vials thing going on. Hmm. Very interesting.
On the other hand, we have Jennifer Aniston. Sweet, sunny, down-to-earth, and everybody's favorite girl next door. Perhaps not quite as accomplished as Angelina (although she does have an Emmy! And a Golden Globe!), but lovable and wonderful nonetheless. She's so cute and vulnerable that you can't help but love her, bless her multimillion-dollar little heart.
I confess: After Brangelina broke, I was seduced by their bedroom eyes and perfectly coiffed hair. Those smiles! Those lips! A fusion of the two most genetically perfect people on earth! But now we have Jennifer on the cover of Vanity Fair, looking fetching and finally breaking her silence with quotes such as, "I'd be a robot if I said I didn't feel moments of anger, of hurt, of embarrassment," "I love Brad...I will love him for the rest of my life. He's a fantastic man," and, "Am I lonely? Yes. Am I upset? Yes. Do I have my days when I've thrown a little pity party for myself? Absolutely." The writer, Leslie Bennetts, reveals that fat tears slipped down Jen's cheeks when told that Angie might be pregnant with Brad's baby. You made Jennifer Aniston cry, you heartless, beautiful monsters!
Poor Jen. At least she looks great on the VF cover—take that, Brad! And, of course, she has eleventy-katrillion dollars. I'm sure she'll be fine.
But I still can't choose between them.
Jen Makes the Best of a Brad Situation (NY Daily News)
Jen Without Pitty (NY Post)