Hey Jude, Don't make it
Jude, Jude, Jude. It's taken me all day to collect my thoughts about what you did to poor Sienna. The nanny? I thought you were smarter than that. Surely you've learned that shagging nannies only results in tears and career-dampening book deals. You live in England, the capital of tearful nanny-shagging career-dampening book deals, for the love of Jesus! And did you learn nothing from your role as Alfie? Cheating is bad. People get hurt. You're really pretty. Oh, wait, that's not what I meant...I must have been blinded by the lethal one-two punch of your golden tan and pearly whites. And your Adonis-like body. And those baby blues, deep enough to swim in—oh, uh, I mean, don't cheat on your fiancée anymore or we'll stop seeing your movies. Probably. Well, maybe.