Thursday, June 23, 2005

The Beauty Hierarchy

In a very particular order, here's how people rate on the beauty food chain (from what's your name again? to très diva):

Assistant: Despite having likely graduated from an Ivy League college, not to be trusted with anything other than fetching coffee, opening beauty products, or telephoning junior PR people for prices. Salary roughly equivalent to a janitor in Iowa.
Associate: Either granted a byline for small, micro-edited pieces that could have been easily thrown together by an eight-year-old, or writes the entire beauty section with credit going to the director. Salary roughly equivalent to a janitor in New York.
Editor: Free weekly blowouts or pedicures. Spends four days per month working like a dog, twenty-seven days per month attending lunches and parties. Salary approximately twice that of an associate, but receives at least $10,000 in swag per year.
Beauty Director: Arrives in the office at 10 am. Leaves at 6. Spends two days per month researching, three days per month writing, one day per month at sales calls, fifteen hours per month at events, one-third of life delegating to associate. Loves her assistant. Has hundreds of dollars in gifted credit at Barneys. Thrilled to have (just barely) broken the six-figure barrier.
Beauty Director at Condé Nast: Arrives in the office at 11 am. Leaves at 5. Conducts three hour lunches twice-weekly at DB, once-weekly at Koi, twice-monthly at Per Se. Commands 150K+ for 20 hours per week of actual work.
Beauty Director of Vogue: Too busy for you. More powerful than God. Money is for the little people.

PS - This is a SATIRE. No actual beauty editors were harmed in the making of this list. I love my job, my boss, my salary, my magazine and the Vogue beauty coverage. That is all.


Blogger dys said...

huehue Laughing Out Loud reading this.. totally hillarious.. it reminded me of every familiar faces in d indusry.. ;0 this is one of the thing that has convinced me to avoid the mag industry esp in ny n pursue a different one.. :)

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